Everything has two handles, one you can carry it by and one you can't. If your brother treats you badly, don't grab it by the "he wronged me" handle. Grab it by "he's my brother, we grew up together." That one you can lift.
Everything has two handles: one by which it may be borne, another by which it cannot. If your brother acts unjustly, do not lay hold on the affair by the handle of his injustice, for by that it cannot be borne, but rather by the opposite, that he is your brother, that he was brought up with you; and thus you will lay hold on it as it is to be borne.
Pick the handle you can actually carry the thing by.
Your partner missed a deadline. One handle: he let you down. The other: twelve years of jobs he didn't miss. Carry it by the second.
Enchiridion §43 · Higginson translation, 1865. Public domain. Rendering and example AI-assisted.